..And He Killed Them

Under the blissful sunset and the slight brisk of breeze, Oscar played on terrace. He kept lifting his leg to sprinkle water over the dried surface. Not paying much attention to him, I worked on my laptop, thinking about the academic courses and their entrances.

Oscar has a pressing habit of sniffing around every iota of his surroundings but the sad part was that I let him sniff the place, he shouldn’t have sniffed.
I, being too engrossed with my work, didn’t notice that my dog was making his way under the water tanks; he was struggling to reach the corner of that little space that reserved two lives.

Suddenly I heard screeches, desperate cries of newborn animals. Confusion clouded me and so I scanned the whole place but couldn’t find Oscar. My heart gave a thud when I realized that my dog was beneath the water tank, doing something brutal to ‘some-ones’.
I called him out, angrily; I tried to bring him back but I couldn’t, I just couldn’t make him stop killing those two small kittens that were crying for help.
And then they stopped crying, Oscar had done his bit by shredding them into bits. The moment breezed past me within seconds making me helpless.

 And then I realized that I was scared. I was scared to physically stop my dog because I knew he would bite me. I was so engrossed in my pain that I let those kittens shriek before entering the mouth of death. The thought of choosing myself over the muted beings, destroyed me completely. I had lost.

Later, I realized while I was scared of my dog, I was also scared for him. I didn’t want him to fall sick while he was biting into the kittens.  That was the most shameful thought, I had thought of at that time. But now as I think over it, I don’t find it as shameful as I had once thought of it to be because Oscar is my person, he is my dog.
 Anybody would first think of his family and then the rest and that’s what I did. With this, I also realized that I am a very petite human, confined into the cages of selfishness. I became small; the eyes that looked at me from within had suddenly closed.

I called up the Vet and narrated the incident. He told me to give a bath to my dog and prescribed a few injections. And so I cleansed him off the blood of two innocent souls. I also murmured few words of softness to him, so that he wouldn’t bite me. Yet again, I was scared but I couldn’t help.
People say you can wash your sins in Ganga. I wonder whether it’s true.
For me, one can never wash his sins. If he could, then washing sins with one’s tears or with tap water or Ganga, would mean the same. I felt the same too.

Though I didn’t have stains to wash off but the scars will remain. My fear engulfed two lives today.

He didn’t kill them; he killed me … 

When you Left ..

It was Wednesday,

Just another day of July,

You sang to yourself

And I knew you were high!

“Let me drive”, was what you said,

Without paying heed to me,

You drove the car instead.

“You’re drunk!” I shouted,

You made fun of me and pouted.

Your senses had abandoned you,

Your gestures seemed grimy.

And when you picked up speed,

The car became shimmy.

It was an easy departure for you it seemed,

You lost control when the truck’s headlight beamed.

I lost you right then and there,

Broke some of my bones,

And just headed for despair.

All that you have left me now,

Is a small building made of stone,

It’s not a home anymore,

Cuz I live there all alone.

The whispers of the wind,

Do brush through my ears.

The silent emotions buried deep inside,

Trickle down as tears.

Nobody comes to sit beside me,

When I weep under the willow.

For the world, I might be asleep,

But I still cry under the pillow…

BLACK

Never knew what Light was,

Its meaning,

I couldn't find.

A plain simple color

That guides my being,

And people call me ‘Blind’

I wonder why they

Look down upon ‘Black’,

Why is it always maligned?

A plain simple color

That guides my being,

And people call me ‘Blind’

Black embraces all with open arms,

Nobody’s a winner and

No one’s behind,

A plain simple color

That guides my being,

And people call me ‘Blind’

What is there to see

in the World of Colors?

Where the spectrum of Thoughts,

Remain un-aligned,

A plain simple color

That guides my being,

And people call me ‘Blind’

‘Darkness’ is what, you believe it to be,

It resides in the nooks of your mind,

A plain simple color

That guides my being,

And then You call me ‘Blind!'

Someday

    

Cuz I know you'll read it Someday!

The leaves that died

waiting for you,

The winds that

changed course,

The dust that coagulated itself,

Around the windows and doors…

It has been so long,

And you might not know,

Little Henry has grown tall.

I wish you could see him holding your hand

And say – “I’ll catch you when you fall”

Whiskey still sniffs around you,

In the hope that you might wake up.

And I wonder how charming you look everyday,

Even without that filthy make-up.

It has been one year now,

Since you fell from the top floor,

Okay, it’s not exactly a year,

But today is 364!

The doc says there’s not much hope,

And tomorrow, they’ll take you away.

But I’m gonna keep this letter in your pocket,

Cuz I know you’ll read it Someday!

It’s more than Just a Drink!

I had always wanted a father,

And not a staggering man. 

I always wanted a dad,

Who wouldn’t fail to stand,

Alas, I got someone who swayed with the wind’s stride,

And I had dreamt of having a father,

A strong shield, behind whom, I could hide.

I was never born to abhor you,

But my love for you started to die.

Had you chosen me over your addiction,

Then I wouldn’t have to cry.

I thrashed, I sniveled, I pleaded you to let go,

But you never bothered about me,

And gulped the liquor with a steady flow.

Even though I have you,

I still miss being a daughter,

For you won’t be there to protect me;

I am always up for slaughter.

When you fumble,

Think of the times,

You taught me how to speak.

When you stumble,

Remember how you sustained me,

When my legs were weak.

Please be a dad to me,

Be a man of pride,

Be someone, I can look up to,

And not someone,

Who’s bogged down by BEER’s tide.

Time that Flew away !

Bring me back the time,

When mum's hand was a spoon and her lap, a pillow...

When dad's arrival from work was most awaited...

When sibling rivalry was the toughest battle you ever fight...



Bring me back the time,

When friends were real and fighting with them was so easy...

when school meant just another early morning wake up...

when teachers were the sole species that knew everything...




Bring me back the time,

When politics meant just another caricature in the newspaper...

When tears knew no hesitations and laughter had no limitations...

When gadgets never coagulated you...



Bring me back the time,

When you never wanted to fly like a bird...

You were happy with what you were...


Bring me back THAT time...

A SMALL STAY

You held me close to you

When the world kept me away,

You kept me in your womb,

Even though I wasn’t supposed to stay.

‘Illegitimate’, was the name,

That was given to me,

But you called me ‘son’,

Despite of the darkened spree.

I could see you crying

When tears escaped my eyes,

I could hear you prying,

When my decisions were not wise.

You gave me all the love and care,

But now that you are leaving me,

Do you think it’s fair?

It’s not that I am not happy

To see you happy again,

But why did you bring me here,

Was I worth the pain?

I know you’ll forget me

As soon as you have a replacement,

But just think about me, mother,

How can I forget the times,

That we had spent?

“I will not accept that boy”,

That’s what your new husband said,

I am glad that you didn’t see me that day,

And neither my tear soaked bed.

But let me tell you mother,

This small stay with you

Was all that I wanted,

For now the fear of losing you,

Won’t keep me daunted.

I wish that you remain happy forever,

And I promise you,

That you’ll see me never…